last post

yup, this is the last post folks.

as of now, mirrormask is officially closed. hahaha

4th dec 06 - 29 apr 10

lol quite a long time i reckon.

i'd like to say a huge thank you to those who follow(ed) my blog, be it close friends or acquaintances, for sharing my journey thus far, and occasionally leaving notes and comments of support, advice and just plain random comments. you guys have been great company. =) and thanks too, to those who made the effort to track my blog down amidst the several relocations throughout the years and whom i forget to mention it to XD

but this time i will.

check out my new blog guys!

http://dispensinglove.blogspot.com

see you there~

this is Jian signing out from mirrormask. for good.

was fooling around with the import export blog settings, and resulted in all my comments being lost. greatt.

but whatever. chapter closed ;)

bye bye blog.

more than any other day,我觉得身边有人变了。变得陌生、冷淡。我并没感到意外或惊奇。只有一丝丝酸涩、无奈。随缘吧！我会加油的！ =)

i feel like sleepingggg. xD

but i actually had 9 hours of good solid sleep last night. =) a satisfying dinner at a pretty place with a very relaxing atmosphere does wonders. ^_^

big bearrr~

found it =O

was reading through my older post and realised my writing style and mindset are so different now. and i actually scoffed at how childish some posts seem to be.

besides that tho, i do miss my older self. my past naivety, innocence and optimism. i loved more, criticised less, and definitely smiled and laughed more.

being constantly at extreme ends of spectrums, perhaps it's the balance between being dumb+happy and realistic+depressed that i need to achieve.

also learning to look for every silver lining, no matter how tiny, in the darkest of clouds. and thanking god for remembering to leave me a way out in every single messy situation.

i'll be back soon. to my upgraded younger self =) i hope. xD

optimism at its best. i'll take control starting now.

junkyard

that's what i'm treating my blog as today. i'm sorry. i just need to get some more stuff out of my system today. hehe don't read it if you don't want to. they're just.... ramblings full of negative vibes, so do skip to the next next next next post if you dont feel like you're up for my brain+emotional waste.

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sometimes i swear the world is out to get me.

i was cursing it.

and there it was again, popping out right in front of my face and taunting me.

fine fine, i know i'm not good enough, i'm not worth it. /rolleye

and i'm reminded once again that i'm so very very alone.

as if that needed reminding.

i've been so angsty and sad lately. me no likey =(

more like just a depressed sad actually =(

sigh i mustn't succumb to weakness.

but, it's just too easy to do so.

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Came back late, and gave Snugs a tight tight hug for the longest of time.

Going back to Camberwell wasn't a good idea.

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Dear Life,

i'm not being unreasonable. is it not right to ask for a little lasting peace and quiet? and more harmony and love? you're just being too mean. dont pick on me! =( give me something good for me to look forward to this time, ok? if you can't, then maybe you can get me a memory eraser? that would work great too. thanks!

xoxo

Jian

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when i grow up, i want to have an awesome hubby and great kids.

i want to continue having a close, loving relationship with my siblings.

i want to live near my mum & dad, bring them to parks, bring them yummy food everyday.

i will laugh everyday and live happily ever after with my happy family.

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that's all for tonight. wonder if anyone actually read it this far. =o

back to point O.

haih it's gonna be a long night.

=S

need some love

“昨日像那东流水　离我远去不可留　今日乱我心　多烦忧

抽刀断水水更流　举杯消愁愁更愁　明朝清风四飘流

由来只有新人笑　有谁听到旧人哭　爱情两个字　好辛苦
是要问一个明白　还是要装作糊涂　知多知少难知足”

感性时听到这种情歌，完咯！

searching for my 100% of willpower to do the things i need to do.

in terms of everything.

jianjian jia you!

******************

you're part of my little world too.

if i be good and act cute, would u stay?

hoshii

saw loads of stars tonight =)

*********

i thank your parents

********

for having you

*******

i thank the stars

********

for protecting you

*********

and i thank god

********

for sending you

*******

cos you're so adorable

********

and so wonderful.

*********

and cos my cup is full

********

just being with you.

*******

so stay happy. everyday.

********

cos the world is much more beautiful

*********

when you happily smile away.

*********

i love how i can see so many stars here when i walk out of the house. so much more different from being in KL =)

worried about throat. get snuggles to chuu it better?

i brushed my teeth last night right after dinner out of habit but drank more wine after that and forgot to brush my teeth after.

i woke up this morning with my teeth aching T____________T

how? =(

***************

my mood's so crappy now i wanna just yell =(

teeth hurt, the weather's warm, my laptop hums so loudly, and my nap was so bad =(((((((

now getting comfort by hugging Snuggles.

haih. screw these tests, screw stress. i shall pwn your questions steve marty! and you jalal! and joe nicolazzo and john trang and david shacklewhatsit. and you too, phil bergen, you're no longer my favourite! hmph!

i'm gonna go eat my sundae now. hmph!