cleaning up.

received a mail today that troubled me to no end.... not that my day has been great to start with.

seriously i wonder, why can't life be less complicated? with nothing hiding in the nooks and crannies of things that appear so simple and innocent.

maybe i'm a simple-minded person for liking things simple and sweet. but it seems like everything has implications to something bigger and more sinister.

i know i shouldn't rant too much... but when so many hurdles are thrown at me simultaneously, it makes me think how the hell am i supposed to deal with all these at once?

i'm optimistic about things all the time. i tell people to cheer up, i give people hope and say things will be alright. but i know, optimism alone can't overcome some things if my capabilities are insufficient.

perhaps it's these turbulent periods that make me take a closer look at what life really is about and highlight the things that i should deem precious, seek them and hold onto them. perhaps it's these that teach me to appreciate the simple pleasures in life in the way that i would never have done before.

but why do i have to learn it the hard way?

now, all that's left is to believe that i'm strong enough. that i can go through all this. hoping for a month of peace and less drama. despite showing a brave front, i'm not sure i can take anymore volatile changes in my life.

hey you, Big Problem, won't you pick on someone your own size? I'm too small.....

and where have all the good things in the world gone to anyway? taking a break from my life? vacation time's over~ come back! =(